What Kingdom Hearts could have been...

  So, I often spend/waste a lot of time thinking about what Kingdom Hearts could have been. I mean to me, it held so much promise. I generated expectations. A cross between Disney and Final Fantasy... Mmmmmm... Yes.... Just THINK of all the possibilities!

-Art by Calvin P 

  The gods bestowed me with an imagination overdose see, so I tend to go mad thinking about the possibilities. Of course, Kingdom Hearts is nothing like what you'd expect from such a crossover. It's more about a very... Unique, mythology regarding a group of very kawaii, young people enacting philosophical analogies with swords shaped like keys. And that's FINE!!! It's just, I wish that the Disney and Final Fantasy influences were more than mere cameos, you know?

   I just watched Beauty & the Beast on youtube. I saw it countless times as a child but seeing it with fresh eyes made me appreciate it a whole lot more. When I was a kid I never allowed myself to appreciate the 'girly' bits, see. Now I simply do not care.

 But I can't help but notice parallels between the Disney films and Final Fantasy, parallels that are never touched upon in Kingdom Hearts. Such as, the Enchanted Rose in Beauty & the Beast.

Firion of Final Fantasy II sure loves his roses. The password of the resistance was 'Wild Rose' and Firion dreamed of seeing a world covered in roses. Honestly I don't see the practicality of that but they could've done something with that guys.

Oh, and Lightning's crystal she used to summon Odin was also shaped like a rose. Yeah.

This is actually a fairly petty one, I've noticed far more shocking ones. Such as in Pinocchio, the setting is very similar to Alexandria in Final Fantasy IX. The towns, the people; some are humans, some are animal hybrids and some are animated PUPPETS. Hello Vivi! Also count the amount of Disney movies that have an 'Evil Forest' in it... Hrmmmm...

Mime Bartz and the prince guy from Snow White wear like, the same outfit.

Here we have four elemental titans from Hercules.

And here are the four elemental fiends from Final Fantasy I.

Lich and Ice Titan look alike and both use ice attacks! This shit writes itself!

I think you get the 'picture' by now. Geddit? I spot these things as I watch Disney movies and as I play Final Fantasy games, and I just take a deep sigh and think oh Kingdom Hearts, why are you not like this? Why is Wonderland not a place in the Void? Why can't you be a Beastmaster and summon Bagheera to battle for you? Why can't Pocahontas heal me with the colours of the wind? THE COLOURS OF THE WIND.

This is just something I'm never going to let go. 'Final Fantasia' shall remain a dream locked in the ether of impossibility by Kingdom Hearts.


...

It's ironic because keys.

P.S. Queen Brahne and Ursula are twinsies.

I forgot to put pictures in the last one..

I'm so sorry. I know it's supposed to be better if it has no pictures, becuase it's more... Um... "Adult"... But, I don't actually give a flying fuck about that. Pictures are awesome. No one really wants to stare at a block of text with no pics in it, right? Maybe it's just me?

Well, here's a picture for ya

This is Ivy. I like her. She is my favourite.

Most people look at this and see a near naked lady with large boobies. Well. I don't. I see a fierce-ass lady with a sword-whip ready to kick some A. That's what I first thought when I saw her on the cover of a magazine as a child, I was like... Wow, that game looks awesome. She looks badass. I didn't even realize that Soul Calibur was in fact the sequel to Soul Blade, one of the definitive games of my childhood. So, you can imagine how happy that made me. I still use her to this day, though I am deathly scorned for doing so.

"OH, I CAN SEE WHY YOU LIKE THIS CHARACTER! DOHOHOHO!"
Complete with suggestive eye-brows.

Okay well I can't say for sure that I've had someone do that to me exactly but close enough things have happened. This one can be solved in a couple of easy statements.

"I am a homosexual."
"I don't like boobies."
"I don't like vajayjays either."

I have nothing against them though, it's just... Yeah. Don't hurt me.

"IVY IS CHEAP YOU'RE A FUCKING SCRUB YOU'RE A CHEATER I HATE YOU"

Okay well gamers will always say this about every character but Ivy does get her fair share of it. I don't really know why she's actually considered an 'advanced' character which means she's harder to learn and use than the others. This of course doesn't mean she's not overpowered but... Well, she's not. Unless you have robot hands and can pull off Calamity Symphony at the drop of a hat, she's not overpowered.

"IVY IS A PRIME EXAMPLE OF SEXISM IN THE GAMES INDUSTRY"

Well, as a feminist myself and one who is highly conscious of sexism in the industry I still think it's unfair to throw shit at Ivy for it. Yes, Namco have issues, yes her breasts do get bigger with every game ha ha ha if I see another video game themed webcomic make that joke I may actually have to cut someone.

Thing is, sexualization in itself is not inherently a bad thing. The issue is, that all of the women in the cast are sexualized and not all of the men are. It seems odd, doesn't it? That and,he female characters aren't allowed to age. They're either kept young or replaced. Again, the male characters don't get the same treatment, they're allowed to age, turn into monsters and so on. That is sexist and that is a problem. But Ivy, as an isolated thing... Not so much.

So am I doing this blogging thing right? I don't know. I think I'm addicted though.

P.S. I'll put more pictures in the next one. This one only had one, which is really boring. Sorry 'bout that. 

It's scary, but we'll get through it together Google Plus

   Not only am I new to blogging... Like, proper blogging. None of this silly 'micro-blogging' business, no, I'm above that now. Gone are the days of tumblr. Actually that last sentence is a complete and total fabrication, as is the one before it. But I would still class myself as new to blogging.

   I'm actually already proud of myself for making it this far. See when you're me, your brain likes to generate stupid blockers to prevent you from doing things. At first it was like, what the hell do you even write about on a blog? Then it was, what will it be about? Does it actually have to be about anything? Surely not? Then when I actually sat my ass down and decided to do one, I didn't even know what to call it. It was like I just caught a fucking Mew and needed a nickname for it.

   Made it this far. Called it 'Something A Little Less Pretentious' because let's face it, I'm not a blogger... Yet... One hopes... And, as such, any title I tried to think of just sounded totally pretentious and lame. So, I generated this HILARIOUS title becuase it's ironic (I think) because it's actually kind of pretentious even though it's... Self aware... Pretentiousness... So, it's okay if it's self aware, right? I did have a quick look at advice for blog titles though and one of them totally said "make it short" so I failed there. Oh well.

   I've actually skipped one of the major blocks though, which was the reason for this particular entry title. Choosing a blog site to do it on. I chose this one because I kind of am a bit of a google whore, a bit don't quote me on that. But I'm new to the site, so, not only am I new to the site but I'm also new to blogging so... It's like me and Google are on this adventure together and so long as we have ech other we can conquer ANYTHING.

   I already hate my blog, do you? I do.

P.S. A friend just said my blog title was pretentious. I hope I can change it. Or maybe I'll keep it just to spite him...